Beauty or the Beast
by Gabriele Spire
Summary: What happens if Bella gets a chance to try to love Jacob? What happens if Edward comes back? Rated T for more grown up situations... This is my first fan fic, please read and review so I can tweak further chapters :-
1. Chapter 1

Bella stood on the cliff. The wind whipped her now soaking wet hair around her face. As she stepped off the cliff an arm reached out and suddenly grabbed her wrist. Startled at her sudden mid air stop she looked up to see Jacob staring down at her with eyes full of fear.

"I've got you." He proclaimed.  
"Jake! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.  
"Are you crazy?! Can't you see that there is a hurricane out there?! You'll never survive the current!" He bellowed.  
Bella looked down, taking a good look at the water below. The water crashed violently against the cliff side. Maybe today isn't a good day for a jump after all, Bella thought to herself. Jacob reached for Bella's other hand. She grabbed it and he pulled her back up to the cliff, pulling her close to him.  
" Thank you, Jake." Bella whispered.  
Jacob hesitated, "I need to get you out of this rain before you catch cold."

Bella took one last look over the cliff. There was a strange orange tint to the water just out from the cliff. Bella shook her head, maybe she's losing it after all she thought to herself.  
Jacob pulled open the passenger side of Bella's truck and Bella obediently got inside. Jacob walked around to the driver's side and got in, immediately pulled her close.

"We should head back to your house. You should be home when Charlie gets home." Jacob said.  
There was an uneasy undertone to his voice. Bella looked at Jacob with a confused expression.  
"Did something happen, Jake?" Jacob's face fell a little. "It's Harry Clearwater. He had a heart attack."  
Bella's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "That's terrible, Jake. Will he be okay?" she asked. Jacob's eyes were full of sadness now. "He's gone, Bells." he whispered so low that Bella wouldn't have heard him if she was right next to him.  
Bella felt a lump in her throat. "Poor Charlie." she thought to herself.  
Harry has been one of his closest friends, he will be devastated.

The truck pulled up to the front of Bella's house. Jacob turned off the engine, the silence was practically audible. Bella was the first to break the silence.

"Thanks, Jake." she said, "For everything." She gave Jacob a hug.  
Jacob turned to stare into Bella's eyes. They continued to start for what seemed like hours. Bella was mentally battling the pros and cons of going forward with what Jacob obviously had on his mind. Bella saw when Jacob's expression changed, becoming more serene, more loving. Bella was beginning to panic.  
"I'm not ready." she thought to herself. " Jake. . .I. ." Bella whispered.  
" Yeah?" Jake answered, gently tucking a stray hair behind her right ear.  
The contact made Bella shiver. " I .. I should get cleaned up. Charlie shouldn't see me looking like a drowned cat."  
Jacob let out a sigh. " You're right, let's get you inside." Bella bit her lip, thinking for a moment. "You're going to stay right?" she asked.  
Jacob smiled, "Who else is going to keep you safe from the bloodsucker?"

Once inside the house, as turned to put her coat in the hall closet, there was Jacob. His eyes were still full of the emotions that she saw when they were in the truck. He reached over and took the coat from her.  
"I'll put this away, you go get cleaned up." he murmured.  
Bella nodded obediently and made her way upstairs. She took her time, the hot water letting her relax. Grabbing a towel and hurrying to her room, she quickly got dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and headed downstairs. She peeked around the corner to the living room to see that Jacob had passed out on the couch, remote still in hand. Bella couldn't help but smile at the image that was in front of her; the big scary werewolf looked like a sweet and innocent kid while he slept. Not wanting to disturb him, she carefully slid on to the couch beside him,  
snuggling up to his side. Listening to his heart, she found herself thinking about Jacob. Jacob loved her. that she was sure of. Being with Jacob wouldn't be hard, it would be natural. Before even realizing it, she fell asleep herself.

Bella awoke to the sound of the cruiser pulling up to the house. She sat up suddenly, startling Jacob awake in the process.

"Its okay, Jake. Its just Charlie" she assured him.  
Jacob let out a big yawn, running his hands through his short hair. "How long was I out? He asked.  
"Not long, I think." Bella answered as she rose to her feet. Bella opened the door in time to see Charlie coming up the walkway.  
"Dad" she whispered as she embraced him. "I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad.  
Charlie sighed, squeezing her back. "I'm sure going to miss him."  
He looked up to see Jacob. " Hey Jake."  
"Hey Charlie. I'm sorry about Harry."  
Charlie nodded. " You should head home. Your dad really needs you right now." Jacob nodded obediently. Charlie headed the stairs. Bella turned to Jacob after her dad was out of sight. "Will you be back?" She asked.  
Jacob smiled. " Missing me already?" he snickered. Bella rolled her eyes playfully. Jacob put a hand to her cheek. The warmth of his skin felt so good, she could feel her heart accelerate. Jacob leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead.  
"Don't worry, Bells. I'll be back tonight to keep you safe."

With that Jacob left. Not feeling much like cooking, Bella pulled out some leftover dinner from the night before. She popped some garlic bread sticks in the oven and warmed up some lasagna in the microwave. As she put the lasagna and bread sticks on the table, Charlie came back down. They ate in silence, Charlie full of too much emotion to talk and Bella's mind distracted by the long day she had. Charlie left back out to the Clearwaters' to finalize the funeral arrangements. Bella washed the plates and decided to head to bed despite the fact it was still pretty early. She felt exhausted from all the days events. Not bothering to change out of her clothes, she curled up under her comforter and drifted off to sleep. Much too soon after she fell asleep, Bella awoke. She sat up with a start in the now dark bedroom, the only light coming in was the moonlight through her window. She saw movement in the dark and would have screamed if she wasn't paralyzed with fear. Staring back from the darkness were the jet black eyes of a hungry vampire.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__**The Characters are all the property of Stephenie Meyer. But I thought I'd play with the story a little. **_

_**Thank you for not putting me through the ringer for not posting the next chapter right away. Life got in the way.**_

**Chapter 2**

Bella scrambled backwards in her bed. It was good that she was alone. She didn't have to worry about Charlie getting hurt. She only regretted not telling Jacob how she felt. Bella braced herself for the first strike that would be so fast that she wouldn't see it coming.

"Bella?" a familiar voice called from the dark.

Bella froze. Was she hearing correctly? The vampire stepped forward into the light.

"Alice?" Bella gasped.

She turned on the lamp on her nightstand. Standing in front of her was Alice, the last vampire she expected to see. She hopped out of the bed and bounded into Alice.

"Oh, Alice! I can't believe you're here!" Bella exclaimed.

Alice stood perfectly still only moving her arms to carefully push Bella back to arms length.

"Isabella Swan. How on earth are you alive?"

Bella was confused with her question. "What are you talking about?"

"Bella, I had a vision of you. A vision of you jumping off a cliff. I hurried as fast as I could to get here but the last thing I expected was to see you alive. And taking a nap!"

Bella smiled a sheepish smile. "Alice, I wasn't trying to kill myself."

Now it was Alice's turn to look confused."What?"

"I was cliff-diving, for fun. Forks can be boring, you know this." Bella explained.

"But Alice, how come you didn't see me come back up? Jacob kept me from falling."

Alice sat on the edge of Bella's bed.

"I... I don't know." She replied, barely louder than a whisper. " Who's Jacob?"

"He's... kinda my best friend." Bella shrugged.

"Hmm.. that doesn't make sense at all." Alice sighed, with an expression that was a cross between confusion and defeat.

"Um, Alice? Is he... I mean...does he..." Bella didn't have the nerve to finish her question.

"No." Alice shook her head." He would most certainly kill me for being here. We promised him that we wouldn't interfere."

"Oh." Bella couldn't shake the feeling that she felt a little disappointed.

"I guess I should go then." said Alice.

Bella's stomach dropped to her knees. "Do you have to go so soon? I've missed you, Alice."

Alice analyzed her expression and placed her cold hands on Bella's shoulders. "At the very least, if I'm going to be here for much longer I need to hunt."

Bella let out a gush of air. She hadn't realized that she was holding her breath.

" You will be back right?" Bella asked.

Alice nodded, "You can't seem to be trusted by yourself for too long."

Bella blushed with embarrassment.

Alice headed for the stairs. " I'll be back in an hour"

Bella sat in the middle of her bed for a moment. She pinched herself. Now that Bella was sure that she was awake, she realized that she was parched. Her mouth felt dry and sticky. She tiptoed down the stairs and got a glass of water from the kitchen faucet. Suddenly, Bella got the feeling that she wasn't alone. She turned around shrieking at her intruder, dropping her glass to the floor.

**AN:**** I won't wait so long to post the next chapter since this one wasn't quite as long. After that I will do my best to post "regularly" since classes are starting for me this week.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **** I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I just like to tweak the story to my liking **

**A/N: **

**Sorry it took so long to post. Having computer issues.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter 3**

Jacob stared back at Bella wide-eyed.

"Are you okay?" he exclaimed.

Bella clutched her chest. Her heart was now beating a mile a minute.

"It would have been nice if you knocked first. " she panted.

But Jacob still didn't relax.

"I smelled a vampire outside so I came in to see if you were okay. Come on, let me get you out of here."

Jacob grabbed Bella's wrist and started pulling her towards the door.

" Wait, Jake!" Bella exclaimed. "It's okay, I'm not in danger!"

Jacob only slowed slightly at her words.

" What are you talking about?! There's a vampire near and its been in your house! It can't be anymore unsafe here!" he practically shouted.

"It's Alice Cullen, Jake! She would never hurt me!" she shouted back.

Bella tugged to try and free her wrist from Jacob's grip. Jacob stopped in the doorway, foot halfway through the door.

"What?!"

His head whirled around, face frozen in shock at what he just heard.

"It's just Alice, Jake. She would never hurt me." She assured him.

Bella started feel the shivers traveling through Jacob's body into her own. Jacob finally let go of her hand, the blood started to flow back into her fingers. Bella didn't realize he was gripping her wrist that hard. She carefully took Jacob's face between her small hands as if he were the fragile one.

"Hey, calm down, Jake. There's no danger here." she whispered.

Jacob closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths. His shaking slowed to a stop. Jacob took another deep breath and then opened his eyes. Bella flinched involuntarily at his glare. She didn't like it when he looked at her this way. This wasn't her Jacob; this was Sam's.

"Bella, are the Cullens back? How many are here?" he asked in a business-like tone.

Bella was a little taken back by his sudden harshness.

"Ju... Ju... just Alice." She stammered.

"For how long?" he continued his voice still business-like, his eyes still hard.

Bella started to get angry. She hadn't done anything to deserve this.

"I don't know. She is welcome to stay as long as she wants." She snapped.

With Jacob turned and started for the door. Bella grabbed his shoulder to try and stop him. Jacob slapped her hand away. Bella felt her stomach drop into her knees, tears threatening to escape her eyes.

"Jake…" she whispered.

"Bella, as long as there is a Cullen here I can only protect you on my land." Jacob said. " I can't be here."

The tears spilled over the edges and trickled down her face.

"But I need you, Jake." She whimpered.

Jacob stared at her for a moment and she could see his expression soften.

"Bella …" he barely spoke a above a whisper.

Jacob grabbed Bella's hand and gently pulled her towards him. He wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs, keeping each scorching palm on either side of her face. Bella reached her decision. She knew that she could love him, with all the love that remained in her if that would be enough. Jacob leaned in slowly, hesitantly, pressing his lips to Bella's ever so gently. Bella was expecting her reaction. Her heart began to race, feeling like it was going to burst from her chest. She reached up, grabbing his face pulling it closer to her own. Jacob drew back one of his hands from her face, to wrap it around her waist, pulling her body closer to his. She could feel the heat of his body through her clothes, a totally new feeling. Their lips moved together in synchronized motions. Gently, Jacob pulled away from their kiss, brushing her cheek with the slightest touch of his fingers. Bella warmed to his touch.

"I'll be in La Push, I can't protect you here." Jacob sighed. "I will wait there until your _friend_ leaves."

He let a little sarcasm through on the word "friend". Bella was still slightly dazed from all that was happening so suddenly and so fast, she could only nod her response. Just then the kitchen phone rang; breaking the quiet with its shrill tone. Bella skipped to the phone, grabbing it on its third ring.

"Hello?" she asked.

The other end of the phone was silent although someone was there.

"Hello?" Bella asked again.

She was starting to believe maybe some kid was prank calling her. She was about to give whoever it was what for when she heard the mystery caller whisper her name just before the phone disconnected. Bella stood there frozen, not sure of what she heard. Was that that who she thought she heard? No, that's not possible. And if that were the case, he was never one to call; he particularly enjoyed visiting in person. Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts and returned to Jacob to see that he wasn't alone. Alice had joined Jacob in the foyer, looking confused. Jacob was beginning to shiver again.

"Alice, whats the matter?" Bella asked.

"I came to warn you. I saw Edward, he thought you were dead. He was going to go to Volterra," exclaimed Alice " but he changed his mind as soon as I got here. I'll be right back. I'm going to call Rosalie."

Alice walked to the living room pulling her cell phone out. Jacob turned back to Bella, his shudders slowing.

" I need to get out of here." Jacob pulled Bella close and kissed her lightly, and ran out the door.

Bella turned to see Alice giving her another perplexed look.

"Bella, did you talk to Edward few minutes ago?" she asked.

" No, how would I have done that?" Bella asked, now she was confused.

"Rosalie spoke to Edward, he was going to go to Volterra. But she says he called and spoke to you?"

Realization colored Bella's face. That was Edward that she just heard on the phone. Alice understood Bella's expression.

" He called but didn't talk. Just to hear my voice." Bella whispered. "That's not all, Bella. While I was talking to Rosalie, your future, it.. well it disappeared. This has never happened to me before. Just like..." Alice trailed off.

"Whenever Jacob is with you, I can't see your future."

Bella became perplexed. "So you can't see werewolves?" she asked.

Alice's face went pale.

"That boy is a werewolf?!" she exclaimed.

Bella blushed, she obviously didn't mention to Alice before that Jacob was a werewolf.

"Bella, werewolves are dangerous! You shouldn't spend time with them!"

Bella got defensive. "They aren't any more dangerous than you, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes. " Bella, they are volatile and unpredictable. They are not good company to keep."

Bella let out a big sigh. "I don't want to argue with you Alice. How long are you going to stay Alice?"

Alice patted Bella on the head. "I'll leave in the morning. My being here is still against my brother's wishes."

Bella's face fell but she understood. Charlie walked through the door at that moment. Bella had all but forgotten about her father. It felt as if so much had happened in the small amount of time that he had been gone. He said goodnight and went straight to bed. It wasn't until then that Bella realized how late it was, but was amazed that she wasn't tired. Alice and Bella sat up for most of the night talking. Bella asked about the Cullen family while Alice asked about their friends from school.

Bella must have fallen asleep without even realizing it. She woke up on the couch to the sounds of Charlie and Alice talking in the kitchen. She started to get up until she realized the direction of the conversation.

"Charlie, I'm sorry what you two had to go through." she whispered.

Charlie snorted," It wasn't _your _fault, Alice. I thought I'd never get her back. It was scary there for a while."

Charlie let out a sigh. "Now that she has Jacob around, I think she's going to be alright. I know he's a little young for her but he's mature for his age. They spend a lot of time together and I can feel something starting between the two. Okay, so I'm _hoping_ that there is something there, maybe to help her move on."

The conversation was starting to make Bella feel awkward so she decided it was time to get up.

"Alice? Dad?" Bella called out.

" Good Morning, hon" called out Charlie. " Do you want some breakfast?"

At that moment Bella's stomach spoke up and answered the question for him. Charlie let out a chuckle, " Eggs and sausage it is."

After breakfast, Alice decided it was time to return to Jasper and the remaining members of her family. Bella gave Alice a big hug.

"Can you try and visit? I've missed you so much and its going to be hard to not ever get to see you again." Bella whined.

Alice frowned "Bella, I made a promise. A promise that I'm breaking now by being here." she said.

" Well.... it was worth a try...." Bella sighed.

With that Alice hopped into Carlisle's Mercedes and shot out of Bella's life again.

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**A/N: ****Please remember to review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that are in this story. They are Stephenie Meyer's and I'm glad she lets us "play" with them.**

**Thank you for your reviews. I'll work hard to get these chapters posted in between homework at regular intervals.**

**Things are going to start to get a little more complicated for Bella.**

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**Chapter 4**

Bella stood in the doorway, watching Alice disappear over the horizon. She stood there, practically motionless, only a few stubborn tears escaped and ran down her cheek. The rain outside started to pick up and she could feel her hair getting wet from the door frame, dripping rain water down the back of her shirt. Finally, she went inside. Charlie had already left for Harry's funeral, dressed in an unfamiliar suit and tie. Bella was all alone again, dangerous when you are an hallucinating danger magnet. She decided to do some chores to keep her busy, so many things have been getting neglected since she has been spending time with Jacob Her thoughts then went to Jacob. So many things had happened, things had changed. But what did it mean? Were things going to be awkward? Things with Jacob were so easy and natural before all the werewolf drama. Was this going to change as well? These were all questions that continually plagued her as she was scrubbing the kitchen counter. She headed to get the bucket and mop so she could do the floor when there was a knock at the door.

"Coming!" she called out to the mystery visitor.

She opened the door and she smiled. Jacob was standing on the porch, a smile on his face as well. He walked up and gave her a hug. Bella rested her head on his chest, feeling warm and content in his arms.

"I missed you." Jacob murmured.

All Bella could do was smile. This was the answer to her questions for now. Jacob pulled back a little now so he could take her face in his hands, looking into her in the eyes. His eyes held so much love and adoration for Bella, she began to blush. Jacob's smile grew bigger from the obvious reaction to his touch and leaned in for a kiss. Their kiss started gentle like the other ones. Bella reached up and wrapped her arms around Jacob's neck, pulling him closer, to kiss him more deeply. Jacob reacted by lowering his right hand to her lower back and pulling him closer to his body. Their breathing became heavy and ragged, the kissing more urgent. His lips traveled from her face to her neck, to the soft skin of her collarbone and returned to her lips. Bella intertwined her fingers into the hair at the base of his neck, pulling him closer, feeling like he just couldn't get close enough. Their kisses slowed until it was just as gentle as it started. When they stopped they just stared into each others' eyes, smiling.

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The remainder of Bella's senior year flew by in a blur. Between spending a lot of time with Jacob and the pack at La Push, studying for her finals, and applying to colleges, she wasn't left to wonder too much about her former life. The life she had when she first came to forks and befriended a strange boy was but a pale memory.  
Bella and Jacob's relationship was a strange new experience. There was less physical constraints, mainly due to the fact that she was dealing with teenage werewolf and not a century old vampire. Jacob was just as respectful of Bella's virtue as her lost love and this did not bother her. Whether it was her morals or something else holding her back, she just enjoyed spending time with Jacob.  
Bella, Charlie, and Jacob returned home from having dinner celebrating Bella graduating from Forks High school.

"I'm going to go get changed and I'll be right back." Bella told Jacob as he headed over the to living room couch to watch some TV.

Charlie headed upstairs as well to change out of his unusually formal attire. Bella changed into her favorite type of outfit, t-shirt and jeans, and pulled her hair into a more casual ponytail. She bounded down the steps, just to meet Jacob at the bottom. The scene held a sense of deja' vu for her, she immediately pushed off to the back of her mind. Jacob wrapped his arms around her waist and sighed, a smile on his face. She met his smile with a shy kiss, Jacob answering back with more enthusiasm. With a sigh, Bella pulled away from Jacob, much too soon for his liking.

"Behave." she murmured while pressing her lips to his softly.

She didn't even need to know why it was ironic that those words came from her this time.

"I can't help it that you're addicting." he breathed through his kisses.

A clearing of the throat alerted then that Charlie was back in the room. Blushing crimson, Bella walked Jacob to the door before discreetly kissing him goodbye and closing the door. She peeked into the living room, Charlie was already spread out across the couch flipping through the channels.

"I'm going start dinner okay, Dad?" she said.

"Okay, that's fine, Bells." He replied although she already lost him to ESPN.

Since she was starving, she decided she would just make some fried fish, rice, and side vegetables. Halfway through the meal, Charlie broke the silence.

"Have you gotten your schedule for school yet?"

Bella shook her head. "I'm heading to the school tomorrow to get my schedule and dorm all set up."

Charlie nodded, looking like he there was something more that he wanted to say.

" So... I see things with Jacob are… good?" Charlie asked while inspecting a stray pea that had invaded his rice.

Bella looked down at her plate, shuffling food around in an attempt to disguise her embarrassment with the subject change.

"Um.. I guess so.." she answered reluctantly.

"I assume he's being a gentleman?" The blush started to spread on Charlie's face with the new question.

Bella's jaw dropped in shock at his new question, her own blush starting to color her face. Charlie has never offered any interest to Bella and Jacob's relationship, although he has shown obvious favoritism to Jacob over... Bella stopped herself short before thinking the name that would leave her heart aching.

"Um…I guess so.. I mean it's not like that." Bella stuttered, a reaction to the uncomfortable conversation that they were having.

"Bella, I know you're an adult and that soon you're going to be on your own. I just want to make sure that you will be okay. More that you will be taken care of when I can't." Charlie sighed.

It must have been sinking in that his little girl was now a young woman, heading to college and living on her own from now on. Bella had to admit that it was a little scary but it was also very exciting. She would definitely miss Charlie and her friends. And of course, Jacob. She and Jacob didn't talk much about her decision to go to Eastern Washington University. Jacob expressed on some occasions that he wished she had chosen to go to Peninsula College instead. Eastern was over three hours away, which was inconvenient even for a werewolf to visit. But Bella knew if she didn't take the time now to stay on campus, she would forever lose out on the college experience. Charlie stood up now to put his plate in the sink and this pulled her back from her thoughts.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll be fine" she assured him, standing up to clean up her plate as well.

Charlie turned back to her and smiled that eye crinkling smile she loved. "It's amazing how fast time flies. I'm proud of you. You know that right?" he crooned, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Bella smiled warmly at her father. "Yeah, Dad, I know. I think the whole town knows." They both laughed.

The next morning, Jacob arrived bright and early the next day to ride with Bella to the college. The ride was long and quiet. It seemed like the silence filled the truck, suffocating. Bella broke the silence about halfway there, unable to bear it anymore.

"Say something, Jake." Bella whispered.

"What do you want me to say?" Jacob answered in an empty tone, staring out window.

Bella sighed. "Something… anything. I don't like it when you're quiet. I want to know what you're thinking."

Jacob turned to face Bella; the pain on his face was heartbreaking.

"I'm thinking that you're going to be hours away. I'm thinking that I won't be able to see you except on the weekends. I'm thinking you're going to forget about me when …" Jacob trailed off.

"Forget about you, Jake? I couldn't forget you, Jake. That's impossible. You are a part of me, Jake. You are my best friend. I love you." Bella shook her head. It seemed like such a ridiculous thought that he worried she would forget about him.

"Bella," Jacob took a deep breath. "It's not like you've ever had a chance at having a normal future being with me and the pack. You'll actually have a chance to experience what it's like to be normal, with normal guys your age." He hung his head as if to admit defeat.

"Is that what you're worried about, Jacob? That I'll leave you for a _normal _guy? That's ridiculous, Jacob. I can't believe you think that. I love…"

"Don't say it, Bella." Jacob cut her off.

Bella's face went pale with shock. "What?"

"Don't tell me you love me. You don't mean it." He snapped.

Bella's heart felt like it was going to crumple into her chest. "Of course I mean it, Jacob. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

"You don't mean it the way I mean it."

Bella had to pull the truck over, her hands shaking too hard to control the vehicle. Her breathing became erratic. She covered her face with her hands.

"I don't understand what you mean, Jacob." Her words came out slightly muffled by her hands.

"You _know_ what I mean, Bella. You say the words but you don't mean them the way I do. I know you love me, as a person, as your friend. But I love you more than my own life. I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you and have children with you. I want to make love to you when the time is right. But you are so cautious, so hesitant. I don't know that you can make the push forward that our relationship needs. The truth is I don't think you're over _him_."

Bella's hands were trembling uncontrollably. She thought she was giving Jacob what he wanted, what she wanted. Bur Jacob saw right through. She wasn't lying when she said she loved him. She did love him; she didn't know how to live without him at this point. Being with Jacob was as easy and natural as breathing. But he was right. There was _something_ holding her back. She didn't know what it was. Maybe because her past life was always popping up in her mind, getting in the way. Reminding her that the choices that she had in front of her were choices she had pondered with someone else. Her chest ached from all the memories that were invading her mind at that moment. The life she has tried to forget merely was hiding.

Jacob touched Bella on her shoulder, bringing out of her despair. She looked up into his eyes. The pain was still there. He reached up and wiped the tears from her face. She hadn't even realized she was crying.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I promised that I would always be here for and I would never hurt you. I'm hurting you. I'm sorry." He stroked her cheek with his fingers.

"I'm the one who should be sorry. You've been more than patient, and I've only made things harder for you. I don't deserve you, Jacob." She broke down and started to sob.

He reached over and pulled her close to his side, comforting her. "Hey, hey… I'm sorry, Bells. I'm being a jerk. It's not your fault, I know you need time. I'm just being impatient and that's not fair to you." He kissed the top of her head. Bella raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"I'll try harder, Jacob." She breathed.

She reached up and pulled his face to hers, pressing her lips to his with immeasurable desire. Maybe it was the feeling that she needed to prove to him that she loved him. Maybe she wanted to forget about all those memories that Jacob brought back. Whatever it was that brought this on, she just felt like the more she pulled him to her, the more she wanted him. Jacob pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. This was a new experience. She could feel the heat from his chest practically burning her skin through their clothes. She tangled her fingers in his face, pulling him closer while his arms pulled her waist closer, pressing their bodies close. Jacob released her face to travel down her neck, kissing her shoulder skin down to her shoulders. He returned his face to her hers, kissing her, running his tongue over her soft lips. Bella gasped at the feeling. Jacob felt her hesitancy and switched to more gentle and loving kisses. He moved to kiss her cheek and each of her closed eye lids lightly before kissing her on her forehead. Bella opened her opens to look into his. His eyes were soft and loving.

"Thank you, Jake. You've been more than patient." She murmured.

Jacob brushed an unruly hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"We should get going if you want to get back home at a decent hour."

Bella nodded, taking her place back in the driver's seat. She checked the road and pulled back out into the flow of traffic. They arrived at the college and she parked near the registration office in the visitor's parking lot.

The next few hours they walked around the campus, Bella talking to advisors, registering for her classes and checking out the dorm areas.

The guest policy was fairly relaxed; guests that were going to spend the night were required to check in and could not spend more than three consecutive nights in a row, not more than seven in a semester. Any other visitation were only limited to the person requiring to show id and registering.

Bella got her class schedule, picked the necessary books and supplies, and received her dorm assignment. She would have a roommate, who she doesn't know yet. They provide that information closer to the semester when all dorm assignments have been assigned.

Bella and Jacob packed up the truck with all her books and started the long drive back. Jacob chose to drive this time, to give Bella some much needed rest. Bella woke to the sound of the truck pulling up to Charlie's house.

"Thanks for coming with me, Jake." She yawned.

"Sure, sure." He replied with a smile.

Jacob helped her bring all her things inside, setting them on the kitchen table for now. It must have been late, since Charlie wasn't perched in front of the flat screen.

Bella gave Jacob a kiss goodnight and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. When she opened her bedroom door she noticed her bedroom window was open, blowing in the cool breeze from outside.

"I don't remember leaving the window open." She wondered out loud to herself.

Bella headed across her room and pushed the window shut. It was warm today, even for Forks. Maybe Charlie opened it to keep from turning on the air condition. She turned on her light at her nightstand, reminding herself that she needed to replace the bulb as it gave off just enough light that she could see what she was doing. She then kicked off her shoes, scooting them under her bed, grabbed her toiletries and headed to the small bathroom to take a shower. As always, the shower was too short, the hot water dwindled and then the water ran cold. She toweled off impatiently, running a brush through her hair. She threw on her cotton pajamas and grabbed her things and headed back to her room. She was in such a hurry to curl up in her bad for the night she didn't notice the statue like figure standing by the window in the dim light.

"Bella..." a familiar velvety voice breathed.

Bella froze where she stood by her bed, her back to the voice.

Was she hearing his voice again? Her past hallucinations were directly associated with her putting herself in danger. But what kind of danger would be waiting for her in her own bedroom? Realization hit her like a bolt of lightning.

"Victoria!" she gasped and whirled around.

But instead of the homicidal red-haired vampire, she saw something worse. She saw the love of her former life, a tall bronze-haired beauty.

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A/N: Thank you for your reviews!

Keep 'em coming!


	5. Chapter 5

**As usual: The characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just making a new story.**

**Keep the reviews coming! It lets me know I'm doing something right **

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Chapter 5

Bella whirled around clutching her chest.

"Victoria!" She gasped.

Standing in her room was not the fiery haired vampire. Instead she saw the love of her former life. The life she had when she came to Forks, which was stolen from her almost a year ago. The memories came flooding back to Bella with intense fury. The long forgotten hole in her chest began to ache and burn, stealing away her breath.

"Bella?" he whispered, concern coloring his voice.

Bella found herself sitting on her bed, not knowing how she got there. Edward began to look blurry and far away even though he was no more than a foot from her.

"Breathe, Bella. Breathe"

She just realized she had been holding her breath since the moment she saw him and let out a gust of air.

"Edward?" Bella was still not sure that this wasn't her mind playing tricks on her.

Edward sat down on the bed next to Bella, taking her hand. "Yes, I'm here, Love."

Bella stared Edward with total disbelief.

"This can't be real. You can't be real…" Bella panted, on the verge of hysterics.

"Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. I'm here". He soothed, pulling her close to his side.

The room was started to spin. The scent wafting off of Edward was intoxicating and was clouding her mind.

Bella pushed Edward away, which would have been impossible if he didn't move to respect her wishes. The faint moonlight set off small sparkles from on his skin on the hand that was in its path. Bella brushed the back of his hand with the tips of her fingertips. Finally, she willed herself to look him in the eyes. Edward was staring right back at her, his eyes seemed to bore through to her soul.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"To ask for you forgiveness, beg if necessary." He stroked her cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

"Forgiveness?" Bella asked, confused.

"Bella, honey, I tried to leave you be to have a normal human life without me. But it was I that couldn't have a life without you." He rambled, something he often did when he was upset. This only confused Bella more.

"But you don't want me anymore. You told me that you…" Bella stammered.

"It was a lie. The worst evil I could ever let leave my lips. The pain I felt in speaking such blasphemy was only worsened by the fact that you believed it."

Edward's face was distorted with pain. Bella was speechless.

"Edward, what are you trying to tell me? That you love me?" she finally asked after a moment of silence.

"You are my world, Bella. I cannot exist without you." He spoke with such intensity, the same intensity that he spoke with that day in the forest. It left her with no choice but to believe him. With these words, tears began to spill down her cheeks.

"This isn't fair…" she sobbed.

Now it was Edward's turn to look confused. "You don't believe me?"

The pain in his voice was almost tangible. Bella couldn't speak, she was on the verge of breaking down even further so she only could shake her head.

"Bella, speak to me. I don't understand what is wrong." He pleaded.

He reached up and took her face in his cool marble hands.

It was no use. Bella couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

"Bella, please." He began to bring his face closer to hers.

Bella's eyes grew wide when she realized what his intentions were. She tried futilely to turn her head, but his grip on her face was firm.

"Please, don't…." she breathed out barely a whisper but she knew Edward's ears would hear her.

Edward stopped barely an inch from her face. "Why? I need to know why?"

"I . . . I . . . can't." She replied, her voice still a whisper.

This was her worst nightmare come true. No, this was beyond her worst nightmare. Her worst nightmare had manifested last September when this beautiful man said goodbye to her.

"You told me you didn't want me. You... you... didn't want me!" Bella whispered harshly in the dark.

"And for that I am truly sorry, Bella. I would do anything to undo that moment, to undo the last nine months of my absence. Absolutely anything, my love." Edward's eyes were warm and sincere.

Bella pushed away from Edward.

"I... I…" she stammered. She stopped and roughly wiped the tears from her face and, closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths to calm herself. With each breath she was reminded of the burning ache in her chest, the scar of the pain of Edward's abandonment.

When she opened her eyes, she knew what she had to say.

"Edward. . ." her voice trembled as she spoke his name.

"You said you left me… to protect me? That . . . makes sense. I understand that."

Edward opened his mouth to speak but she placed one finger to his smooth, cool lips to silence him.

"Please, this is hard for me." The tears began to sneak down the cheeks in silent streams.

"I can't . . . you can't have me back." She sobbed, her voice breaking at the end.

Edward's face morphed into an expression of indescribable pain.

"I . . . understand." His voice was distant, pained. "Can I ask why? Am… I too late?"

Bella placed a hand on his cheek and nodded, her tears flowing freely now.

Edward stood up and walked over to face the window, his back to Bella.

"That would be fair; it was what I wanted to happen." He whispered.

Something in Bella snapped at what he said, standing up from the bed. Edward turned slightly to look at her.

"Fair?! Fair to who?!" she exclaimed, no longer maintaining a whisper.

"I loved you, I still do. But you left _me!_ You didn't want _me_! How_ dare_ you! You come back to tell me that the last 9 months I had to go through without you was . . . because you _lied?!"_

Bella collapsed to her knees, sobbing. Edward started to walk towards Bella when suddenly her bedroom door flew open and the light flashed on.

"Bella? I heard yelling, are you okay?" asked a worried looking Charlie.

Bella stared at Charlie for minute, confused. Then she looked back to where Edward was standing. To her horror, Edward was gone. The only evidence of his escape was the window, still open, the cold breeze sending chills through Bella's body.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**** As usual, the characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Just taking the characters for a ride **

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Chapter 6

The nightmares returned with a vengeance. After waking up screaming in terror for the third time, Bella decided it was time to give up on sleeping. Her nightmare was still fresh in her mind.

_Bella was running through the woods, searching constantly. Then the woods gave away to the field of ferns. Suddenly, the nightmare took a turn that she didn't expect. The ferns gave away to the big white house that she last saw over a lifetime ago. In the doorway, was Edward, beautiful and perfect, his golden eyes warm and loving. He held his hands out to her, her favorite crooked smile on his face. Bella was at the bottom of the steps, almost in his arms when unexpectedly, Edward went inside the house, slamming the door. Bella ran up the steps and tried to open the door, screaming Edward's name. Finally, the door swung open, but it wasn't Edward on the other side. Instead, it was Jacob. But this wasn't the warm smiling Jacob that she was used to seeing. He was angry. No, angry isn't the right word. Jacob was furious, shivering and shaking with fury. _

"_Jacob?" Bella asked._

_Jacob closed his black eyes. Bella reached out to Jacob when his eyes snapped back open. Bella jumped back at his expression. Without warning, Jacob morphed into a russet brown wolf, the remnants of his clothes fluttering through the air. Bella fell back, falling down the stairs. For the first time she was terrified of Jacob. The wolf let out a guttural growl, baring his teeth._

"_No. . ." Bella whimpered._

_The wolf leaped forward to crush Bella in his claws._

Bella was jolted back to reality. Charlie knocked on her door a few minutes later.

"Come in."

Charlie opened the door, concern still distorting his expression. It took nearly an hour for Bella to calm down enough to get to sleep. She couldn't tell Charlie that her vampire ex-boyfriend came in through her window to beg for her back. That was not a conversation that she ever wanted to have. Charlie wanted over and sat down on her bed.

"Honey, it may help if you talked about what happened last night. It's been a long time since you . . . since you had such a rough time." Charlie's voice was distorted with concern.

Bella recognized the look on his face. He was referring to that time of her life when nothing mattered. When Edward . . . No, she wouldn't allow herself to think of that time, at least while Charlie was around. She could feel her chest tighten a little already.

"No, Dad. I'm . . . fine, really." She replied. "I just had a little freak out. You don't have to worry."

Bella tried to give the most convincing sane person smile. Charlie looked as if he wanted to say something.

"Ok, sweetheart, but remember you can always come to me with anything. About anything, okay?" Charlie conceded.

Bella nodded. Charlie left then to head down to the station while Bella got dressed. She started to make a bowl of cereal when she thought of Jacob. Maybe she'll feel better when Jacob is close, take my mind off of the nightmares and the reason that caused them to return. There was a knock at the door then.

"Speak of the devil." She said to herself.

Leaving her untouched cereal at the table, Bella left the kitchen and opened the front door. There he was; her own personal sun. Jacob smiled immediately when he saw her, the bright white a contrast to his copper skin.

"Hey." He greeted her.

Bella answered with a reciprocating smile, "Hey, Jacob."

Jacob reached out and grabbed Bella around the waist. He started to pull her close when his expression changed. First, his nose wrinkled, and then his face became full of shock. Bella became even more confused when he brought his head closer to her hair and smelled her. Jacob's hands dropped from her waist and took two steps back.

"What's wrong, Jake?" she asked.

"One of the Cullen's were here weren't they?" answering with a question of his own.

Jacob's face was no longer warm and inviting, but cold and stoic. Bella felt the color drain from her face. She had forgotten that Jacob had a heightened sense of smell, now that he was a werewolf. He could smell vampires even in his human form. Jacob noticed the look on Bella's face, as if she had answered the question out loud. His face changed to the harsh face that she remembered well. This was the face that he wore when she had seen him for the first time after becoming a werewolf and told her that they couldn't be friends anymore. She hated that face. More so she hated the fact that he was looking at her right now with that face.

"Bella," Jacob spoke her name with a harshness that cut deep. "You need to let me know when a Cullen comes back in town. You know I can't protect you here while they are in town. With that red-headed leach still out there I need, no, _we_ need to be able to keep an eye on you."

Bella didn't like how he was chastising her as if he were a child.

"I _know_, Jacob. It's not exactly like he let me know he was coming. I . . ." Bella trailed off when she saw the pain on Jacob's face.

"_He?"_ he asked.

Realization struck Bella like a bolt of lightning. Jacob didn't think it was "him".

"Ed . . . ward." Bella whispered.

"Edward Cullen was here? When?" Jacob spat out every word. His eyes were dark with fury. He was already starting to shake.

"Hey, Jake, calm down." Bella said reaching out one hand out to him.

"Answer the question, Bella. When?!" he practically shouted.

Bella took a step back, pulling her hand back. She had never seen him this angry, it frightened her, reminded her of her nightmare. She had to force herself to get even a whisper out.

"Las . . . last night."

Jacob turned around and headed towards his rabbit.

"Jake! Wait, Jake!" Bella called as she ran after him. She reached him just as he was opening the car door and grabbed his arm. Jacob turned and pushed her off with more force than he meant to. Bella flew backward, landing on the sidewalk in a heap. Jacob stared down at Bella, his face frozen in shock after he realized what he had done. Bella tried to right herself and felt a searing pain in her wrist. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she clutched her wrist to her chest. Jacob took a step towards her, tears of his own starting to collect in his eyes. Instinctively, Bella rolled over on to her feet and ran to the house. She fought to control the sobs as she locked the door after her. Jacob began banging on the door.

"Bella! Let me in, I'm sorry!!" I didn't mean to . . ."

Bella couldn't listen anymore; she curled up next to the door, holding her now throbbing wrist. The pounding continued for a few more minutes.

"Bella, honey, I love you." Jacob whispered against the door.

That was the last thing Bella heard followed by hearing the rabbit rev to life and disappear. The sobs that she was struggling to contain broke free now that she was alone. She cried until her tears ran dry. Her whole world as she now knew it was crashing down around her. Jacob had hurt her. She knew the risks of being around a werewolf and she had believed through and through that Jacob would never hurt her. She believed that as much as she believed long ago that Edward loved her and wouldn't leave her side. Now she had nothing left to believe in. Love left her broken. Jacob left her broken. What could she do now? Bella closed her tired, sore eyes and thought about that. Her mind continued to draw a blank. She pictured her mind as a magic eight ball. No matter how many times she shook it, she came up blank. She must have fallen asleep because the next sounds were of Charlie's keep in the door. She scooted away from the door and turned on the light. Bella raised her good hand to cover her eyes from the blinding light. Charlie opened the door and turned on the light. Bella covered her eyes with her good hand, momentarily blinded by the light. Charlie just noticed her then.

"Bella, what are you doing down there?" Charlie looked at her a little closer, paying a little more attention. "Are you okay?"

Bella was still clutching her wrist; her good hand was covered in bloody scrapes from hitting the sidewalk. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying while her cheeks held the evidence of the tears that were long gone. Charlie got down on his knees on the floor next to her.

"Daddy . . ." Bella whispered, new tears began to fall as she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably. She couldn't remember ever calling Charlie daddy. He was caught off guard by Bella's sudden embrace and had to grab the wall to keep from falling over. After a few minutes, Charlie stood up bringing Bella to her feet.

"What happened, Bella?" he finally asked.

Bella stiffened. Could she really tell Charlie that Jacob had hurt her? Even if he didn't mean to, she was sure of it?

"I . . . I fell down." She answered after a long pause. The look in Charlie's eyes told Bella that he didn't believe her, but he didn't ask any more questions for now.

"Well, let's go get that wrist looked at." He sighed.

Bella let out a sigh of her own. "Okay."

Charlie walked Bella out to the cruiser, helping her inside, carefully closing the door behind her. They both sat in silence on the trip to the hospital. Bella did end up having a fracture in her wrist and a few of the scrapes needed to be cleaned of debris and bandaged. Bella sat quietly throughout although she could see Charlie's attempt at being inconspicuous by looking at her out of the corner of his eye. When they finally arrived back home, Bella started up the stairs towards her room.

"Bells?"

Bella turned to look at Charlie, "Yeah, Dad?"

"When you're ready to talk, you know I'm here okay, honey?"

Bella nodded slowly and then went into her room, closing the door behind her. The tears returned as soon as the door clicked closed. Bella felt like all she's been doing for the past 24 hours was cry. She curled up on her bed, not bothering to take off her clothes, and just let the tears run.

**AN: I know Team Jacob doesn't like what Jacob is doing. But being that Jacob is a new werewolf and has a temper this seemed like where his personality would take him. Remember that the story isn't over, hang in there, please ****.**

**Thank you for the reviews!**


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